..the release..

..I received a letter yesterday that shook my fingers and sent me to my knees into a solat syukri....it also brought tears to my eyes..as I thanked Him for His little mercies..

..but allow me, being 'aged and senescent', to regress..

..a few decades ago...I was brash and confident..with legion of friends..assured with my job, savouring what little power that I had..I was that little Napoleon we talked about these days..

.. he came with a proposal..be a partner in his business venture..there was this project  that he landed..we'd share the profit..you sit back and I'll do all the work..I was reluctant, but he came again, whispering gains..or he would looked for someone else..and I agreed..and agreement I was to regret for the next twenty years of my life..

..yes, the project failed..there was a loan that he took that I was the guarantor..the bank manager was my scrabble kaki..and so it was that I was made a bankrupt..an insolvent wage earner..someone whose pecuniary position was causing serious embarrassment to the public service...suddenly I found that I could not renew my international passport..my right to travel was denied..I could not open accounts with any banks, own properties..cars or motorcycles..my account with Tabong Haji was frozen...I could not even be a Class F contractor..

..suddenly I was a person non-grata..I suffered, yes, but I learned to live with it..there was this hollowness in my heart but I made adjustments..I looked up to Him and accepted my fate..Lord..if this is payment for my sins..I accept it..for, indeed, I know not what You know...but there was no bitterness..just a feeling of being numb..for I took the turning with my eyes wide open..

..yesterday I received a letter of release from the Insolvency Department...releasing me of the shackles that bound my wings...copies of letters send by them to all the relevant agencies informing of the release...

..this morning I opened the door of my house to the golden rays of the sunrise..I felt its warmth on my cheeks..I took off my cap and let it danced and played with my gray and white hair..I ignored the damp in my eyes and the choking in my throat..I looked up to the translucent sky..I picked up Ayam brushing herself against my feet..I kissed her...

...God is Great...AllahuAkbar...............